from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
