fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i out mim tonsoeep
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