Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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