Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
