Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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