Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
