she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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