Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
