Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
