non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize