DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
