How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
