good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
