He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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