sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
