please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
