Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
