no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
