don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
