I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
