home. puking in laundry basket.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
