You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
