he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
