You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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