I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
