What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
