I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
