omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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