great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
