were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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