If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
