after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
