im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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