We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
