I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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