More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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