i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
