Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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