So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
