I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
