Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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