You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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