So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
