Non-Jews are for practice
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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