is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
