I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
