You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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