How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
