it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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