you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
