so that wasnt chicken after all
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
