I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
