were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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